This is a place for fond words to be written about how Steph impacted you, how you knew her, and what kind of mischief you got up to.
Feel free to send your tribute to us via the contact form at the bottom, and once approved it will be submitted.
I can't help but think your timing was impeccable, given how shit the world's gone. I think at this point I understand why, but I'll be damned if I accept it. I miss you every day. I know you visit me and Jayd and your Mom. I hope Sarah knows it's you when you visit her. I wish I could tell you everything that's happened in the last 15 months. There are so many things I try and tell you. I've thought about what to say, what to post here, how to remember you, what to tell people, how to explain how important you are, why you did it, what if, what if, what if, what if...... You knew exactly what if. ------ Do you know we've come together in our own little way? Do you like the bees? Does Penny see you? Do you have any idea the pain you'd cause to the people who loved you? Do you know how much we loved you? Does it still hurt? Does it still hurt? ----- I want to go dancing with you again. I want to stay up all night talking about boys and movies and Nick Cave and life and love and our Big, Bright, Futures. I want to Skype and have a smoke while you have a drink and it's old times like the Atlantic Ocean is just a living room. I want to explore London and New Orleans and Chicago and Los Angeles and have all sorts of adventures. I want to smack the shit out of you. I want to turn back the forces of space and time and pull apart heaven and hell and bring you home, kicking and screaming to your mother and keep you safe. ---- I expect you'll visit me sooner or later and tell me how silly and sappy I am.... Oh sweet girl, you're the silly one. I love you.
Dear Steph, I knew you from Frightfest and cat stalking of Penny on Instagram. The few times we met I was always taken by how articulate you were and also you won me over with cats. You also made some pretty kick ass cake for the annual cake share. I was beyond devastated to hear the news of your passing. I sat on the train as I read the news and sobbed. I couldn't believe it was happening and now as I write this I still can't believe it’s true. I wrote about your passing on my blog to make sense of it and quite honestly it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I only knew a tiny part of you and your passing has left me feeling like I've been punched in the stomach with an iron fist. I cannot even start to comprehend how your family feels, and saying sorry for their loss does not seem enough. I'm so angry about it all. Angry that we hadn't realised how sad you were, angry that we couldn't help you and angry that you felt you had no other way out. My heart aches for your family and friends and for you. As someone who suffers from depression and has spiralled down and down to the blackness, it hurts to know you didn't make it back up to the sunlight. I just wish I could have done more for you, even if it was just sending cat gifs to you on Twitter to make you smile and forget everything for a minute or two. I'm sorry it came to this for you, it should never have come to this. Not for you and not for anyone. Every now and then I think of you and it makes me sad. I wish I could have known you better and more than just a face in the crowd at a horror festival to say hello to and laugh about how shit the last film was. Two months after you passed I went to a Joanna Newsom concert and now forever more her song Baby Birch will belong to you. I cried during the performance especially over the line “Be at peace, baby, and begone” and now it still brings me a tear to my eye. Steph, I hope you are at peace now. Know that you were loved, liked and respected by many people not only in the horror community but elsewhere. Rest your beautiful soul surrounded by cats and horror films.
Steph's influence has been imprinted on me since we met and her memory will never fade. She was a very private person, only a handful of close friends, but she held them dearly. Her cute giggly nature contrasted with her gothic exterior - wearing tea dresses in the summer and black jeans in the winter. Her tattoos were breathtaking and ever growing. Her makeup skills were amazing, I was always trying to get tips. I got into painting my nails in a big way because of her. More importantly, it seemed we found each other at a time where we were both going through a struggle. For the first year of our friendship, it was great to meet someone who didn't know either histories, and could see both lives with fresh eyes. We hung out loads for the first few years - burlesque events, picnics in the park, watching films (I was never a film buff, but she did try bless her). We talked about making 60 second movies together, joked about our partners and even though we had polar opposite personalities we brought out the best in each other. In the last few years we'd moved to other sides of London from each other, but still met up a handful of times a year. Going to museums, talking about cats, meeting her after work for a drink. Her life was getting more difficult since her divorce, but she still seemed to smile, looking to the future, staying positive and bright. She was going out more, dating, working with animals in a job she loved and aiming higher. I was proud of her for getting on top of it, and even though I didn't see her much in her final year, we talked often on Facebook about her progress. This is why, in the 8 years that I knew her, I was so shocked to hear the news she'd taken her own life. I have been feeling so guilty since she has gone that I didn't pick up on her cancellations to go out to Giraffe with a voucher she'd won, or that time she cancelled on the same morning to see the Welcome Collection with me. I just thought we were both very busy, and things happen - I didn't question it. I know for years to come I'll always blame myself for not forcing her to come out to play. I wish I could have helped somehow, I wish she'd mentioned it, I'd have travelled across London time and time again to give her some strength. Then I could spend more wonderful days with her, goofing around and bouncing off each other. Steph - thankyou for the years that you were in my life. I think about you daily. I'll never forget you and neither will all those who loved you. Rest in Peace, dance with Ian Curtis. xxx